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Showing posts from October, 2010

Far from Truth

Sometimes I have these moments, where I swear my meds are giving me some weird side effect, and then I realize I'm not on meds. Not anymore. And in fact, while I was on meds, whether antidepressants or adhd meds, I felt a bit flat, and I found it a bit hard to keep my interest in things of a spiritual nature. These moments have preceded my adulthood, and have never been frequent enough to make me wonder if I was a bit loopy. (I mean, we're ALL a bit loopy, but you know, MORE loopy than usual...) Anyhow, the last significant moment was this recent spring. As the chill gave way to warmth. The ground warming and the fragrance of awakening earth mingling with the sound of newly born leaves rustling in the wind. A feeling of sudden overwhelming love, emotion, energy, music, LIFE. Fast forward six months... This time, today, I was sitting in the backyard. The two little monkeys running about, playing in the soil of my slowly clearing flower beds. I was sitting in a plastic pati

Oneness

Every once in awhile I feel blessed with the ability to sense a complete oneness. Sometimes, when I go for a walk, I am overwhelmed with the beauty, the smells, the sensations... wind blowing past my cheek, vivid colours - so many shades of green, pulsation of life all around. Every home with people in it, living, eating, cleaning, crying, laughing- A feeling that I often am not able to describe or put my finger on takes over and tears fill my eyes. I feel the Divine Presence all around me, and within me, and there is a longing and almost sadness because I know that if I even think about it too long, it will vanish. At times like those, I feel as though I am rustling the curtain. That invisible boundary that my 'little me' creates and strengthens whenever I allow myself to be sucked into the things that don't matter. Just have to keep working at taking that curtain down, or at the very least, get sheers. :)

Autumn has finally stepped in

Up until a certain point, in the beginning of Fall, despite the chilly mornings and there is still a stubborn Summer sun beaming down. Then, one day, a particular rain comes, and with it, the winds of seasonal change. The day that follows, there is a change in the air. The sun of the darker half of the year has assumed it's place and even on the sunniest days, one can feel the difference. So it is today. Up until yesterday, the sun was still so warm that during my walks, I would forget we were in mid-late October. Then the wind came, and a true Autumn shower. Today on our walk, there were many more leaves on the ground, damp and trodden. The smell of damp cold wood in the air, brought to life from a colder sun. I do love it. The kids are growing so much. This year Dante actually kind of understands Halloween. When we walk past houses that have ghoulish decor he says 'Look! Halloween!' . This year will be the kid's first real year going out. And just in time it see

Oneness

Every once in awhile I am blessed with the ability to sense a complete oneness. Sometimes, when I go for a walk, I am overwhelmed with the beauty, the smells, the sensations... wind blowing past my cheek, vivid colours - so many shades of green, pulsation of life all around. Every home with people in it, living, eating, cleaning, crying, laughing- A feeling that I often am not able to describe or put my finger on takes over and tears fill my eyes. I feel the Divine Presence all around me, and within me, and there is a longing and almost sadness because I know that if I even think about it too long, it will vanish. At times like those, I feel as though I am rustling the curtain. That invisible boundary that my 'little me' creates and strengthens whenever I allow myself to be sucked into the things that don't matter. Just have to keep working at taking that curtain down, or at the very least, get sheers. :)

Trees and Towers

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Doing some preliminary reading and studying of Genesis for EFM (Education for Ministry) got me thinking. A good thing, I'm guessing, seeing as how this course is designed to get you thinking outside the box, or at least thinking within a new box? I don't know, anyhow.... So reading about Adam and Eve, one of my least favourite stories - no where near as pleasant and dreamy as the 1st creation story - and getting that same old irritation about the woman bringing eternal damnation upon mankind etc etc. Then reading further, I came across another favourite, the story of the Tower of Babel. Here were a bunch of people, building a huge tower up to heaven. The things people could do when they worked together were amazing. In both cases, God was a bit miffed. He kicked Adam and Even out of the garden, and as for the tower project, he scattered everyone in different directions by bestowing upon them the gift of many different languages. Then it occurred to me... I'm a bit slo

gadgets

Just checking out blogger on my Acer Liquid. Touch screen I'm not a fan of. But the rest of it is pretty darn cool! Good price too! Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.3

Trees and Towers

Now, keep in mind I am NOT a literalist. Myth and metaphor about sums it up for me. But I am fascinated by it. I was thinking about the writings in Gospel of Thomas. One thing often stressed in Gospel of Thomas are sayings that refer to recognizing the world as a carcass. By ‘world’ we can substitute ‘System’. For after all, it also says the Kingdom of God is at hand, it is inside of us and spread upon the earth. Earth being a different term than world. So, I see it like this, similar to ‘hubris’ the greek word for what was, at one point the WORST sin. Over indulgence, delusions of grandeur, narcissism… The tree of Knowledge is not just of ‘wisdom’ but was a Knowing of Everything. Maybe a wee bit too potent for these newly made peeps Adam and Eve. Were they to eat from it, they would suddenly have longings, cravings, embarassment… their own personal wordly needs would grow and surpass our relationship to God, our higher selves. But-they ate from the tree. Their contentment to tend the

Boys Will be Boys

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Will they ever! Wow, these past few days it seems like the two little ones have grown so much. Rather than toddling babies, they have turned into little boys. Dante even bit Demetrio today! And then thought it was funny to chase him about, gnashing his teeth at him. So funny in fact , that he often laughed himself silly. Demetrio was pretty freaked out about it (can't blame him!) but not freaked out enough to refrain from diving on him, smacking him about the head and knocking all Dante's blocks off the table when Dante was busy building towers and trains. Then it was DEMETRIO laughing his head off while Dante screamed bloody murder. I can't count the wipe-outs over the past few days. Bumps on heads, bruised shins, strange marks here and there from battles I've apparently missed while in the bathroom or in the kitchen trying to cook and clean. After a few day bout with a bad back, I was thrilled to be feeling groovy enough to do the 40 minute walk to the grocery store (

Fellowship of the Spark Within

I've been working with some different ideas as to how I would like to see Spark Within go, as far as religious direction. Some things that I jotted down: Unitarian Thomasine[ism] (lol, is that even a word? *sigh* lol) Beliefs: Jesus , through the Gospel of Thomas taught a view of God that was shaped by the religion he was raised with. Judaism. However, this view was quite radical in nature and leaned toward a reformed/pre-mystical way of thinking. These ideas were not unique to Jesus, however, he was the one able to 'get the message' out there. He was able to be heard. Jesus placed an importance on the Sabbath and the Torah. He felt it was important for one to understand the true nature of the Sabbath and its purpose. Jesus was not divine. He was not God. He was inspired by the Spirit of God. He was open and wise to the message of God, but he was fully human. The Kingdom of God is here, but we do not see it. We are slaves to a corpse-that which has no spirit-this is the Sy

What am I?

Not an easy question to answer. I've been thinking about it alot. It is my goal to be able to have a ministry and so it sounds odd to say 'What am I'? However, I am fully aware of the message in which I want to share, just not sure exactly of how to label the context of its delivery. 1) Gospel of Thomas: it is within this writing that I seek spiritual guidance and inspiration. 2) Panentheism: God is within all. All is within God. Although the System of the World is faulty and an 'empty carcass' , the Kingdom of God is at hand, it is here, but we do not see it. Let's see the Divinity of God within His creations! Let's celebrate the cycles of the earth, while not getting caught up in the Ways of the World. 3) Unitarian: Jesus was a Mystic, a Teacher, a Rabbi. He was not God. He was not Divine. He may have been inspired and filled with the Holy Spirit of God, but he was not God. 4) Because inspiration comes from the Gospel of Thomas, honouring the Shabbat, is i

Shabbat Shalom

Well, I did attempt it last night. My realization at the last moment that I had not enough flour, nor any active yeast sort of put a damper on my Challah making. However I did have wine, and a nice crockpot stew, and some regular ol' bread. And a candle. I was going for two candles, but we went with one because my candle holders that match one another were in use elsewhere, so I only had the one candle holder. However, it was my first attempt. Never in my life have I done, or even been part of a Shabbat eve. Lighting and blessing the candle, then blessing the children, (three of them anyhow. The two youngest boys and my oldest. Everyone else was absent) then Kiddush-the blessing of the wine, and the Motzi-blessing over the bread. The blessing of my boys was particulary nice. It felt wonderful to do. In fact, the whole thing felt wonderful. We began our evening like most evenings. Outside in the backyard, enjoying the beautiful colours of the fading day. It was so funny...the train