Showing posts from September, 2012

My favourite season has arrived.

whenever autumn comes rolling in, a sense of melancholy peace settles within me. I love autumn.

And Yesterday was the Last Day

of cipralex. Racing heart and jittery, and chest pain are part and parcel to my anxiety attacks and since Cipralex can effect heart rhythm and can be potentially dangerous for people with certain heart problems, I just couldn't help the feeling that every day I was having a heart attack. Even though my EKG is fine and my dosage was so small... still can't justify the risk of 'what if' and THAT in itself has given me more anxiety than anything else. I loved Paxil. It worked great for me, but the weight gain broke my heart, even though I increased my activity and lowered my carb intake. I guess there's no miracle cure for me. Anxiety isn't as debilitating as depression - I never think of killing myself, I don't lie in bed or hide from the world- so I can't justify those sorts of side effects. I get up, I live, I participate in life, most of the agony is inside my head, the only problem is the irritation and aggravation I feel. I guess if I am suffering

Day 1

of Cipralex (Lexapro for my American friends) I wussed out though and only took 5mg instead of 10. I have a pill cutter and it's indented for breaking in half. I have bad anxiety and bad panic attacks, I knew it would bring one on, which it did, but I think the 5mg was likely to make it a bit less traumatic. I took it about 7 hours ago. Feel a bit weird but nothing like back in the day I started Paxil. A bit 'distanced'. Hoping it helps this chronic anxiety, irritability etc.

Back from Paradise

Not everyone's idea of paradise I guess. Some people prefer places with uber cool, trendy, chic things to do. I just like silence. This time we went for ten days, and it was a perfect amount of time. No internet, no cell phone (except for sporadic coverage here and there), no cable, no house phone. Just trees, natural beaches -some sandstone, some crushed shells from the inhabitants thousands of years ago, some pebbles and one or two with some lovely sand - and lovely forests. Husband and I went with the two youngest children. My Teen/Adult aged children stayed home. Ten days with no internet? HELL NO! Which is fine, because they were home to feed the cats and water the plants. :) Coming back home afterwards, to  civinalization  always feels so strange