Mystical Mundane

If I was crazy, would I truly know it? Is the fact that I question it often a sign of sanity? Or is it instead, just an awareness of INsanity? I grew up religion-less. Not only did we have no real religious upbringing, but there was no spirituality either. Not that rare in Western Canada. My mother was a youngster when she had me. Her and my birth father did not stay together. When I was two, my mom married a Jewish man. He adopted me as his daughter. Before the wedding, my mother converted to Judaism. A few short years later, I had a Mikveh and was given the Jewish name Adina. However, other than the most commonly celebrated Jewish Holy Days, such as Chanukah and Passover, there really was no proof that we were a Jewish family. I had no idea what the celebrations were about. When I was 16, I became pregnant and wanted to marry my Roman Catholic boyfriend. So, of course, I was baptised Roman Catholic (on my due date. My first born son however, was a bit stubborn luckily and was not bo...

Okay, this is a tough one to post. Mainly because I've been pretty anti-ADHD all my life. Anyhow, here goes- I've always felt that I have a broken or missing filter. Think of yourself as a coffee pot (hehe, I talk about coffee whenever possible) The filter is there to keep the grounds out of the brew and only allow the flavour through. If there's no filter, everything just gets into the beloved bean-juice and you end up with a pot of muck. Ok, forget the coffee pot example and visualize this. Surrounded by a filter that allows only the important stuff in. Kind of like panning for gold. Well, growing up I always felt as though I was WAY to receptive to everything. Sadness, happiness, anger (rage actually)... kind of like everything just got right to me. I always felt instead like everything just came right through. Constant noise, frenzied thoughts, half ideas, a bombardment of chaos. Every once in a while, something really interesting comes through that warrants attention, ...

Love comes from the Divine. Or rather, the Divine IS love. It exists within everything, permeating this realm through cracks and fissures we create through awakening. (a concept I recently read again in Cynthia Bourgeault’s Wisdom Way of Knowing) I had some rambling thoughts today. Very rambling. Be warned. :) As children we receive hugs, and cuddles and we are ideally made to feel valued important and significant. As children we wake up in the morning, wondering what the day will bring, finding the miraculous in the mundane. Not all children are brought up to feel this way. Some children never know what it is to have their heart filled with love from those around them. Usually because those around them don’t know how to love them. Or themselves. These children often grow with that emptiness inside of them. An emptiness that when they were younger, they filled with a special toy, or a favourite food, or a favourite program. They learned how to fill that void with ‘things’. They create...

In the beginning I was in the center of the One who loved me. Then my birth brought me into a world of wonder. As a child, I loved to play. So, as many good children do… I pushed limits and wanted to do things my own way. I did not want to come in when I was called. I played, I got dirty. I got lost . I travelled aimlessly. Time passed, and I was frightened. I thought I could hear my name being called… but it was faint and I wasn’t sure where it was coming from. So I wandered about. Places would look familiar and then I would realize that rather than a familiarity because I was going in the right direction, the sameness was because I was going in circles. After some time, I found comfort in my circling. I even bedded down and called it home. I was tired of looking for my way back, and in all honesty… by that time, I was beginning to forget what home was. I adjusted . I ate. I slept, I even met with others . Life went on. Eventually I was oblivious to my origin. Then, one day, when the...