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Showing posts from July, 2010

RNS Feature: "Novelist Anne Rice says `I quit being a Christian’"

RNS Feature: "Novelist Anne Rice says `I quit being a Christian’" Opinions?

ADHD - Or, 'Living Life with a Broken Filter'

Okay, this is a tough one to post. Mainly because I've been pretty anti-ADHD all my life. Anyhow, here goes- I've always felt that I have a broken or missing filter. Think of yourself as a coffee pot (hehe, I talk about coffee whenever possible) The filter is there to keep the grounds out of the brew and only allow the flavour through. If there's no filter, everything just gets into the beloved bean-juice and you end up with a pot of muck. Ok, forget the coffee pot example and visualize this. Surrounded by a filter that allows only the important stuff in. Kind of like panning for gold. Well, growing up I always felt as though I was WAY to receptive to everything. Sadness, happiness, anger (rage actually)... kind of like everything just got right to me. I always felt instead like everything just came right through. Constant noise, frenzied thoughts, half ideas, a bombardment of chaos. Every once in a while, something really interesting comes through that warrants attention,
Well it was a rough Sunday. Monday I decided to double the Zoloft to 50mg. 25mg just was not enough to ward off the paxil withdrawal. The past two days have been better. My littlest guy is still not sleeping well, but I feel better able to deal with it. One thing that was quite great about this weekend was Saturday. My friend Shannon was over, and we went through the ritual that we had reworked from our Gardnerian days. As a central part, was discussion. Right about that point, a girl I had met at the Chilliwack Coffee Cauldron arrived. What a nice surprise! We went through the ritual again, not that we needed to, but so that she could be included, and then spent some time chatting. Shannon read from Jung and the Lost Gospels, and we discussed ideas that came from that. Then, Shannon took me to the Duke of Dublin for a belated bday dinner. Sunday however was a night mare. The lack of sleep caught up with me, and the falling seretonin from the med switch caused a major breakdown. I won&

Karen Maezen Miller: 15 Ways to Practice Compassion on the Way Home for Dinner

Karen Maezen Miller: 15 Ways to Practice Compassion on the Way Home for Dinner

Day two?

Okay, this could get boring... or interesting. I guess it depends. Day two on no paxil. Day two on 25mg of Zoloft. Day 4 of almost no sleep. The night before last I got almost six hours, but up until then, and last night also.. maybe two hours or so? 18 month sleep regression... I hope this doesnt mean that it LASTS for 18 months, lol. He is almost nineteen months old now, so does this mean he will soon learn to sleep again? I have almost fallen asleep standing up, patting his back in the crib twice now. Not a graceful thing I can tell you. I have two more icons coming from St. Andrei Rublev Icons Risen Christ and Heavenly Paraclete, to accompany the Hagia Hesychia that I got last month. I am very happy. Happy Birthday ( a bit belated) to me :D

18 month Sleep Regression

Well, he's just about 19 months but the Sleep Regression part is quite fitting. At 5am this morning I was lying on the floor, on a blanket, next to his crib, with my hand through the bars so he could hold onto my finger, reassured that I had NOT snuck out of his room. He was never a great sleeper, but this past week or so it has really escalated. At least previously, if he did wake, I could give him a bottle and he would have a few sips and go back to sleep. About a week ago, when I would give him the bottle if he woke, as soon as he heard my footsteps walking away from the crib, he'd toss the bottle and stand up screaming. Sooooo I caved and picked him up and rocked him... an hour later of rocking him and he's still opening his long lashed dark brown eyes to check and see if I'm still there. I understand the concept behind putting them in their crib to sleep, and not rocking them etc. , but it was our special time together, the only time he wanted to actually sit with

Mundane?

*sigh* I've avoided the scale for quite some time. For good reason. I got brave, got on the scale, and found out I weigh as much as my 21 year old son. Im five feet tall, he's closer to six feet. Not happy about that. I seem to have an alcohol/sugar addiction issue. I began low-carbing a few years ago and it was wonderful. Truly. My blood pressure went down, my bad cholesterol was down, my doctor was supportive and very thrilled, and of course, my blood sugar was nice and balanced. But.... I began drinking. Not right away, because you are told to leave the drinking as it can stall weight loss. Well I drank whiskey and club soda.... totally carb free. And my weight loss progressed. Now after a few years of a much smaller me, and a much drunker me, I decided to get it together, smarten up and all those mature things that were a long time coming. So, I did. And I got pregnant. And I had two more children. Drinking was easy to leave behind... however the carbs started calling my na

Changes

Pruning is often a necessary part of encouraging fruitful growth in trees. My asian pear tree was not pruned last season and as a result, this summer, there are only six or seven pears growing on it. I bet that if the tree could speak, it would tell me that this pruning process is a bit painful. I have changed my course of direction. I decided that the route I was taking was not the one with the scenery I hoped to see. I'm hoping the end destination is still similar however. I've sat quite often and thought about why it is that I want to become a Priest. I often find myself caught up in the visions of other people and mistakenly think they are suitable for me also. But then, after I start walking that path, I realize that the view they enjoyed is not quite the sort of view I enjoy. Does the view really matter along the journey? Well, kind of. Otherwise it can make it harder to push ones self along the path. It makes it more unlikely that you will reach the end, and more likely