Mundane?

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*sigh*
I've avoided the scale for quite some time. For good reason. I got brave, got on the scale, and found out I weigh as much as my 21 year old son. Im five feet tall, he's closer to six feet. Not happy about that.
I seem to have an alcohol/sugar addiction issue.
I began low-carbing a few years ago and it was wonderful. Truly. My blood pressure went down, my bad cholesterol was down, my doctor was supportive and very thrilled, and of course, my blood sugar was nice and balanced.
But.... I began drinking. Not right away, because you are told to leave the drinking as it can stall weight loss. Well I drank whiskey and club soda.... totally carb free. And my weight loss progressed.
Now after a few years of a much smaller me, and a much drunker me, I decided to get it together, smarten up and all those mature things that were a long time coming.
So, I did. And I got pregnant. And I had two more children. Drinking was easy to leave behind... however the carbs started calling my name again and the weight creeped back on.
Yes I can also blame it on the Paxil, because even on the small 15mg dosage I'm on, it can play a big role. However, there is a definite relation to the drinking and carbs.
I don't seem to have an off switch. When I'm going for carbs, its none or all, and alcohol seems to be the same.
So, game plan is to taper off the paxil a bit. (regardless of what anyone wants to say, it helps me. Im very pro natural and pro exercise etc, but I needed the extra help)
I am going back on the low-carb wagon starting NOW.
The alcohol (that I gave in to over the weekend) is gone also. It was successfully gone for the past few years and I have no worries about keeping it gone again. Sugar is the one I know I will fight with the most.
If I really feel I can't make it without my miniscule amount of paxil, then I will try a small amount of zoloft this time. Not as well known for weight gain. I have always had this problem of having what seems to be month long pms. Bitchy to happy... to quickly occurring to be a case of bi-polar disorder but wow it really drives me nuts. And as im getting older it is getting worse, which is the reason why I went back on the Paxil again.
Addiction really bites. Whether it's food, booze, gambling... I just want GOD to fill that void.
When other things start to occupy that space, my relationship with God seems distant. So... back on the wagon to wholeness and we will take it from there.
Yup, my public declaration, lol.

Comments

  1. pete smithJuly 16, 2010 at 4:17 PM

    It would be great to share notes for SEVERAL reasons. One being I'm a seminarian in the UCA. Another being several comments you made. Maybe I can share my experiences and they could be of value to you.

    Feel free to write: peterlynnsmith@yahoo.com or visit my blog at

    www.goodcatholicmystic.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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