Pruning is often a necessary part of encouraging fruitful growth in trees. My asian pear tree was not pruned last season and as a result, this summer, there are only six or seven pears growing on it.
I bet that if the tree could speak, it would tell me that this pruning process is a bit painful.
I have changed my course of direction.
I decided that the route I was taking was not the one with the scenery I hoped to see. I'm hoping the end destination is still similar however.
I've sat quite often and thought about why it is that I want to become a Priest. I often find myself caught up in the visions of other people and mistakenly think they are suitable for me also. But then, after I start walking that path, I realize that the view they enjoyed is not quite the sort of view I enjoy.
Does the view really matter along the journey?
Well, kind of. Otherwise it can make it harder to push ones self along the path.
It makes it more unlikely that you will reach the end, and more likely that you will just turn around and go back to the beginning.
I want to allow God to manifest through me.
And for that to happen, I sort of need my own groove. If I am trying to hard to put myself into something that doesn't fit my shape, then God is not going to have an easy time manifesting. I'll be too busy struggling with an awkwardness to hear His voice.
So, metaphors and similes aside, I have joined the Holy Monastic Order En Deus as a Postulant, and I will be working with +Mani and the Universal Church of Autogenes as a mentor toward (hopefully) an ordination in the future.
I am happy with my home temple. I don't have the desire for big church politics. Just simplicity. I would like to validate the work I do in my home temple. I know it is already valid to ME, but I would like it to be valid also in a 'proper' sense and would like to be able to perform the sacraments.
This all just suddenly popped up recently. Very recently. One day I was walking away from something, and the next, something else had shown itself in my vision, and it felt like a welcome site indeed :)
I have nothing but respect and admiration for those in the AJC and I do hope that they will continue to see me as their Sister in Gnosis, as I see them as my Brothers and Sisters in Gnosis also.