Mystical Mundane

As time passes along this journey I find myself more and more often, contemplating on how bizarre this all is. How did I go from being a coven priestess/witch/pagan to a contemplative Gnostic Christian. I never really felt the presence of Goddess. I wanted to. I tried. But I was unable to personify her. And when working with Deity, ones with names, and strengths and weaknesses... well, personification is just sort of something one does.I had varied levels of success, but in the end, it just did not feel real to me. I want to clarify that I was not raised religious at all, so it wasn't religious baggage coming back to haunt me. I was free while growing up to explore whatever religious avenues I felt inclined toward. Always something deeper. Always trying to figure out the source. Now here I am, a few years later and I feel like I have seen the Kingdom of God. Or at least a good advertisement for it. The experiences I have had while on walks, when the feeling of surrealism overcomes...

A new forum Read the Forum tab for more info and see what you think. It is up and running, I'm just prettying it up a tad :D

Well, I tried. Some days I am just lacking that creative flow it seems. My walk is filled with incessant chatter in my head rather than the calming sensation I hope to feel while being out in the beauty of my neighbourhood. The little 'me' inside of ME just wants to go on a narrative spree and fill my brain full of random nothingness. I definitely need to put more time into centering prayer. I was reviewing my vows as a nun in the Order of St. Esclarmonde. I need to print them out and put them where I see them. It is very easy as a solitary nun, and mother of five, to let my religious applications slide. My schedule when I'm on the ball is : Prime : from OSE Little Hours: from Merton, combined with June Singer, or the Daily Prayer from Fr. Tim Mansfield+ Vespers: from Merton and/or The Apostolic Johannite Church/Fr.Tim Mansfield+ (my absolute favourite time of day. I usually just read this outloud, outside, while watching the kids play in the yard each e...

Love comes from the Divine. Or rather, the Divine IS love. It exists within everything, permeating this realm through cracks and fissures we create through awakening. (a concept I recently read again in Cynthia Bourgeault’s Wisdom Way of Knowing) I had some rambling thoughts today. Very rambling. Be warned. :) As children we receive hugs, and cuddles and we are ideally made to feel valued important and significant. As children we wake up in the morning, wondering what the day will bring, finding the miraculous in the mundane. Not all children are brought up to feel this way. Some children never know what it is to have their heart filled with love from those around them. Usually because those around them don’t know how to love them. Or themselves. These children often grow with that emptiness inside of them. An emptiness that when they were younger, they filled with a special toy, or a favourite food, or a favourite program. They learned how to fill that void with ‘things’. They create...

I really enjoyed Alice in Wonderland. It was fun to watch, and visually stimulating. Yes, it was predictable, and sure it was a bit cheesy in places, but it was a comfortable movie. It was familiar. Reminded me of all the movies I enjoyed as a child. At one point not too long ago, I felt like the Wrong Shilo. Some time has passed, and I've come to realize I wasn't the Wrong Shilo, I was just Hardly Shilo. Now, I am Almost Shilo, and I'm pleased with that. Of course, if you haven't watched Alice in Wonderland, then this quite possibly makes no sense. My fifteen year old is home right now. He came here today and is here til Sunday. It's been peaceful, but I've missed him alot. As horribly as we argue and as rotten as he can be, it still feels 'right' that he be here. He's only been gone for a week and a half, but it isn't the amount of time he has been gone as much as it is the fact that he has not been gone simply to visit his dad. Instead, he is...

I realized I ran out of bread, and the kids wanted toast and peanut butter for a snack. So, I made oatmeal muffins. 2 cups of milk 2 cups quick cooking oats 2 eggs 1/2 cup vegetable oil 2 cups all-purpose flour 3/4 cup white sugar 4 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon salt pinch of cinnamon dash of vanilla handful of chocolate chips The base recipe came from http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/easy-oatmeal-muffins/Detail.aspx and the cinnamon, vanilla and chocolate chips I added. You can tell where the original recipe ends and my additions come in by my lack of measurements. lol They turned out perfectly!

Ever since reading The Community of the Beloved Disciple, by Raymond Brown, I can't get it out of my mind. WHO was the Beloved Disciple? Lazarus makes alot of sense, considering it was 'he whom Jesus loved', and he raised him from the dead, and there are very similar references to this in the 'Secret Gospel of Mark', and of course all the other countless points that people make when writing this theory out. Then also, is the other possibility, Mary Magdalene. Especially if she is the same Mary mentioned in John. Anyhow... I hope this obsessive 'want to know' passes soon. I'm really trying to concentrate on things I CAN figure out right now. But the 'Community of the Beloved Disciple' is a big fascination for me right now. In other news, Demetrio has smashed himself in the face twice so far this morning. Its only eleven am. Once, he slipped and hit his chin on the bottom of the highchair as he was playing near it. He actually cut open his chin, an...