Some days I am just lacking that creative flow it seems. My walk is filled with incessant chatter in my head rather than the calming sensation I hope to feel while being out in the beauty of my neighbourhood.
The little 'me' inside of ME just wants to go on a narrative spree and fill my brain full of random nothingness. I definitely need to put more time into centering prayer.
I was reviewing my vows as a nun in the Order of St. Esclarmonde. I need to print them out and put them where I see them. It is very easy as a solitary nun, and mother of five, to let my religious applications slide.
My schedule when I'm on the ball is :
Prime : from OSE
Little Hours: from Merton, combined with June Singer, or the Daily Prayer from Fr. Tim Mansfield+
Vespers: from Merton and/or The Apostolic Johannite Church/Fr.Tim Mansfield+ (my absolute favourite time of day. I usually just read this outloud, outside, while watching the kids play in the yard each evening)
Compline: From OSE. Incidentally, I think this is one of my favourites. I love the prayers.
During the day, I try to keep the laptop in hibernation and instead get out my binder and write down notes, and go through different books. This in itself is a bit tough because as soon as the little ones see me sit down with paper and pen, they want me to draw with them. So that's usually what ends up happening.
Prayer and contemplation isnt too hard. I just find myself struggling with some of the other things. Mindfulness and compassion I think. Oh.... and stillness. Yup. Stillness is a tough one. But I hope with centering prayer, I will learn to get the non-stop chatter to subside.
I want to live gracefully. And graciously. However, I tend to live awkwardly and impatiently.
Yesterday was nice. We went to a local park with the Anglican church for a family day/picnic. We could only stay about two hours because one of my son's had to get to his lacrosse game, but it was still nice.
Minor orders within the AJC coming up MidJune. I'm pretty happy about that!
Well, that's all for now. Time to start some dinner.