Or second hardest. First hardest I guess was when the police told me she passed. Yesterday was the funeral but so many people were there.. (200?) that i had little time to be sad. Or be anything. Just do, do do... and then we had open house also for any family or friends.
But today it was the fact that all I could feel was dread.
She looked nothing like herself. Maybe because it took 2 weeks for the funeral.. she looked bloated and old and NOT 23 beautiful.
I saw this shell.
Without our spirit our shell is strange and cracked, broken.
Today was a slight spiral down into a bit of madness and darkness.