It's sort of how I feel.
My online presence is small, yet I don't want to shut it down.
BUT I feel like it's an addiction.
I love I have no desire to let that go. But facebook and the other things I'm on.
It's frustrating because there are some people that I'm only able to stay in touch with because of facebook. I'm tired of it. I like seeing their updates, and their informative links etc... but I'm tired of it. I'm tired of settling for that sort of interaction.
Granted, there are few Gnostics out here, but I can interact with these same lovely peeps on SPiralInward. (though today I accidentally deleted the main page. Oops. Forum still works well though, lol)
And this site. Though the forums here are dead, the blog itself contains many old posts and it's staying. And the forum? Sure.... you never know when people might stumble across it, wanting a nice comfortable place to talk about their spirituality and connecting with the Divine in an esoteric/mystic sense.
I use Tumblr as a kind of scrap book. Some posts from here make it there, and pictures I find places (liquidnight on tumblr finds some fantastic pictures that I often re-blog)
That should be enough. Under the Rose, Spiral Inward, and Tumblr. Tumblr has an email address for contact, and these sites are a good way to contact.
I just want to get out and meet with people. I love attending church and I love the people Ive met... I just wish I could settle with that and have it be enough. Why do I HAVE to work toward establishing a Gnostic presence here? Because I love it.
If I was Anglican it would be easy. Get off the comp, get out of here, and go help my community church. Attend the luncheons, do some volunteer work. It'd be simple. But noooo, I want more than that. I want to do all of the above and at the same time continue working to achieve this presence. Yes, networking is a great way to do it but heck, all that takes is putting up a site (done) giving a contact address (done) and making sure that the info is relevent and updated (done and doing). That certainly shouldnt take the place of being in the world making stuff happen. Or at the very least (or very most perhaps) being in the world and living as a spiritual person.
Never mind status updates and photo albums... things to say "This is who I am!".... but rather my physical presence, interacting and meeting with people (Anglicans, Atheists, and whomever else) and saying, "Who are you?"
Too easy to create an existence, a safe little world here online. I need to have less reason to be online and more reason to be living my beliefs on a daily basis. Once a week blogging is enough. Checking email twice a day is enough. Chatting on the message board with the Groovy Gnosticky Folk twice a day, while checking email is enough.
I want to make my beliefs a reality instead of just a quirky entry on a computer generated form.
Well, that's all for now. I want to close off some accounts before I head to bed :)


  1. I hear you, Shilo. I think this is sensible and admire you for thinking this all through. Over here in Scotland, I worry for you, looking for something in the online world that is maybe sitting on your doorstep in your new home.

    When I'm on the road to Dunkeld (beautiful part of Scotland where I got married), I'm looking at the mountains, the views, paying attention to driving safely, and just being grateful that I'm there and maybe sharing it with people I love.
    I don't think about the fact that the road is labelled the A9, I don't wonder what the other cars think about the road we're travelling, or think about the amount of sad accidents on that road.
    I try to live life like that too. There is only so much time for thinking and analysis - just living sometimes is rewarding/challenging enough.


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